“Spring is nearly here! I can smell it!” people keep yabbering on Facebook. No it’s not. Are you mad? It’s February. It’s freezing. I’m sitting here in a cowl-neck jumper and a gilet. And I hate gilets. If I could type this with gloves on, I would. You get the picture. Also, none of my coats are cutting it this month. Not even the puffer, probably because I shouldn’t have bought it from [redacted high street emporium] and really ought to have thrown more than £35.99 at the problem. You live and learn. Anyway, there’s only one type of coat that will do right now and that’s a faux fur. Heck, a FAKE fur – “faux” sounds so pretentious. Winter might be coming to an end (so they say), but that makes it an even better time to buy one, as if you’re lucky you may find a bargain in the sales. Fake fur will be back on the style radar next autumn, mark my words. Whatever the hype about puffers, nothing is warmer. Nothing. Not even an oven. Okay, maybe an oven. Trust me: if I could climb into an oven, I would.
Such a flattering blue. Full on ladylike and yet also something Marianne Faithfull might have worn in the 60s
Shrimps, Sol Coat, £495
Whistles’ Teddy coat will last a lifetime, and is a classic of its ilk
Whistles, Ultimate Teddy Coat, £285