When it comes to dating – Midult dating – apparently the rules have changed, the sands have shifted, the goal posts have moved. Listen, very few of us ever claimed to really know what we were doing but we did know this: having sex with who we want, when we want, is fine BUT, if we expected things to go further, it’s probably wise not to have sex on a first encounter. UNLESS we are confident that we are so incredible in bed that they will, without doubt, come back for more. In other words, scratch the itch, but not with someone you really like.
Now, it seems, the walls have closed in rather. Now, Midult men are advising Midult women to not even kiss on a first date. They are more conservative than our mothers. Don’t kiss, they say. Keep them guessing, they say. Be aloof, they say.
We can see their point – and, perhaps their fantasy woman is indeed utterly in control and circumspect – but doesn’t this stuff go wrong quite often? If we don’t kiss pretty sharpish then don’t we run the risk of speeding into the friend zone? And, even more pertinently, it can be truly impossible to know if you properly fancy someone until you kiss them, smell them, unlock that particular energy.
And so, what are we to do? Ignore the advice, that’s what. Kiss anyone and everyone we fancy or think we might fancy. And if that makes us too available, maybe it simultaneously makes them too unavailable. And then, at least, we know.