cagney and lacey, cops, gunpoint, police line, tv

I need back up

Let me be clear: Hoarding is different from backing up. Hoarding is about the past, backing up is about the future. Hoarding is dusty and sentimental, verging on tragic, unless it is a kind of ‘archiving’. Backing up is sensible. Backing up equals peace of mind.

Allow me to set the scene. It is midnight. I am in bed but awake, combing through the minutiae in my mind, when the thought strikes me like a bullet: “WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON’T HAVE BACK-UP BIN BAGS???????????” I climb out of bed, chilly, I go downstairs, nearly setting off the alarm in the process and check under the sink. Oh thank the Lord. There are two back up black bin bag rolls. Phew. I’ll just check the loo paper back ups (two sets of nine rolls at all times) and the honey (I like to have a spare) and, while I’m here, best to make sure there is a load of bread in the freezer.

So if we rewind, what would have happened if I hadn’t checked the bin bag sitch? Here’s what would have happened: I would have taken the rubbish out, gone to get a new bag, seen there there were only a couple left and felt a bit worried. So I ask you this: In what universe do I need to feel more worried than I actually feel?

Overdrawn. Bollocks mortgage rate. Single. Strange knee twinge. If back up ketchup and Lenor give me the illusion of safety then that’s perfectly sane isn’t it? Don’t answer that.

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