kathy bates, misery, hormonal, hormones, emotional, crazy, mad

I’m more hormonal than you

Me: Is it me or is it f***ing boiling in here?

You: I mean, it’s literally a furnace in the burning mouth of Hell.

Me: Do I have steam coming off the top of my head?

You: I can’t see, I’m too depressed.

Me: Well, try depressed and ANGRY FOR NO REASON.

You: Please don’t shout, it might make me cry.

Me: You’re talking like I can control any of this. I can’t control any of this.

You: It’s hard to concentrate on what people are saying when you haven’t slept, like, ever.

Me: I know you’re staring at my terrible skin. Why do they lie about your skin getting better when you grow up?

You: I can’t even see your skin, I’m too upset.

Me: SHUT UP. Sorry, I have no idea where that came from.

You: Do my boobs look massive and painful to you?

Me: Do I look twenty stone heavier to you?

You: (crying)

Me: Why are you crying?

You: How should I know?

Me: (Also crying)

You: And now I’ve made you cry. I’m a terrible person who should be living a solitary life in a cave away from others.

Me: OMG this headache.

You: I gave you a headache. I am evil and must be destroyed.

Me: Wow, are you still talking? STOP TALKING DON’T MAKE ME KILL YOU. Sorry, that just came out.

You: If I’m not eating a bar of chocolate of some description within the next four seconds, I am going to get violent.

Me: Sugar is my only food group at the moment.

You: Give me chocolate or I will SMASH THIS PLACE UP….. Sorry.

Me: My basal temperature is so high I can melt a bar of chocolate just by walking into the same room as it.

You: (crying) I just want a twelve-hour nap. Is that too much to ask?

Me: You know what, I’m even hairier than I was when we started this conversation.

You: And I have yellow eyes and fangs and it’s not even full moon.

Me: I’m sweatier than Blanche Dubois and twice as mad.

You: (crying) I just want to watch Beaches.

Me: (also crying) I’ve never seen Beaches.

You: (crying) Me neither.

SHARE! SHARE! SHARE!
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone