rage, anger management, hammer

Just popping to the rage cupboard

It has been scientifically proven that shouting a string of swearwords helps to numb pain, which is very good news if you just stubbed your toe and shouted ‘C***!!!!’ in front of your five-year old. Stop judging yourself. Scientists believe that swearing to alleviate pain is sensible. But this medicinal release of aggression is only the tip of the iceberg. Let us introduce you to the ‘rage room’ – something that is already, needless to say, ‘a thing’ in the US. Typically a five-minute session costs $25, where you’re given protective clothing and a baseball bat and let loose on some old TVs, crockery and even stuffed toys to exorcise your anger. Basically rage rooms are designed to help you let off steam by letting you destroy stuff. If you’ve moved passed the phase of picturing your stupid boyfriend’s face on the punch bag at the gym, then perhaps this is exactly what you need.

A rage room is like Christian Grey’s Red Room upgraded. A private space where you can fulfil your primal need to break something in privacy and safety with the added bonus of not having to shag anyone at the end. Imagine if we all had one at home instead of something boring like a study. ‘Excuse me,’ you’d say calmly to your toddler, as he puked on your suede sofa or threw his breakfast at you, ‘Mummy will be back in five minutes.’ Or, ‘It appears that after 15 years of marriage, you have forgotten my birthday again,’ you might say to your husband, ‘I shall return with zero fucks given in approximately eight minutes’ – and then you’d race off to your rage room, lock the door and get to work flinging plates, battering microwaves or tearing toy bears limb from limb. Neighbours would pop in, ‘Mind if I borrow your rage cupboard?’. You could have rage parties and invite your friends over, wind each other up about all the things that piss you off and then descend on the rage room for some healthy ‘destructology’ to emerge exhausted but serene.  Suddenly book club feels VERY inadequate….

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