1/ The opening ceremony wouldn’t be too loud or involve an unnecessary amount of people. Or be too late at night. But there would be booze.
2/ Gold medals for anyone who is able to sleep through the night. Postboxes painted gold in their towns, stamps issued with their faces on them, serious talks about their legacy.
4/ Smoking allowed, particularly during the heats. Come on, competing is stressful.
5/ Sports psychologists would be made to listen to long rambling stories related to renting-anxiety / social ineptitude / preferring House of Cards boxsets to sex, because how can you focus on winning anything when you’ve got so much other stuff to worry about?
8/ The period over full moon would be declared as days of rest.
9/ Medals awarded for funniest vagina-related stories.
10/ The closing ceremony would be cancelled so everyone could go to bed early.