When we feel completely useless, there are teeny, tiny things we can do that might make us feel like we’re not completely useless. Like we’ve stuck two fingers up at the chaos. Not like doing an exercise class which is a huge deal. Or writing a five year plan. No no no….just baby steps. Like eating an extra vegetable.
Taking off the old toenail polish. Yes it’s no longer sandal weather. So no one can see that you haven’t removed two months worth of chipped and rather violent summer colour yet. But you know. And I know. So…
Also buying cotton wool. Because you can’t be doing the eye make-up with the loo paper anymore.
Doing a couple of pelvic floor exercises. Because should. But generally we don’t. Are you doing them now? Course you are…
Going to a gallery. Only joking. Just Google a couple. Take an interest. Then at least you can say… “Have you seen the Cezanne Portraits?’ Look at you, all cultural. You’ll be staying awake for Newsnight next.
Sorting out The Chair. The one in your bedroom. All the things that are on there waiting to be taken to the menders/dry cleaners/washing machine/cupboard. Just decant them into bags or something. No one can actually defeat The Chair. Even Sheryl Sandberg can’t sort her chair out. But just think how good it would feel to put those jeans in the wash and the ripped t-shirts in the bin?
Throwing away your mascara. I mean we know Midults can squeeze every last reserve out of washing up liquid, body lotion etc. But the clumpy, mouldy, dried-up mascara keeps migrating on your contact lenses and is basically conjunctivitis on a stick. Also buy a new one. Like this one.
Going to the post office with all those missed delivery card things. YES! High Five! This is a good one.
Writing the thank you cards. We know, we are just being mean now. Sorry.