CHS – Chin Hair Situation
When you casually brush your chin and feel the dagger-like upstart that wasn’t there the day before.
LOLASP – Laughing Out Loud And Slightly Peeing
COL – Crying Out Loud
What’s the point of crying if you can’t really go for it? Better to get it all out, surely? Trail around the house thumping the furniture, that sort of thing?
WLTS – Would Like To Sleep
When you haven’t slept since before God invented water and have gone into that mental space beyond anger where you are now trying to be humble before the universe in the hope that begging to a higher force for some kind of divine intervention will help.
OOTD – Outrage Of The Day
WHY did Ocado see fit to replace your Duchy Original biscuits with some Jacobs crackers? WHERE did you put your keys for the millionth time today? HOW is it possible that Tom Hardy married to someone else?
FML – Forgot My Life
Friend: How was your Friday night?
You: Went to an all-night party, of course, where I was magnificent from start to finish, knocking back masses of booze, yet still managing to be amusing and devastating, going to bed at dawn, only to have everyone over for breakfast and a debrief.
TBC – To Be Cancelled
When you agree to drinks you have absolutely no intention of attending.
ATF – All The Feelings
LMAO – Laughing My Anxiety Off
When you go beyond the fear to a place where it all implodes and you genuinely find the horror funny and then feel slightly better.