amelie, sex, orgasm, love, mid-coital concerns, during sex, mid-sex

Mid-coital concerns

The damp patch. No not that one. The one on the ceiling. How damp is too damp? Will the ceiling fall in? The Earth is supposed to be moving, right?

Why can’t I focus on what’s happening? Focus focus focus focus. Maybe I’ve got Adult Onset ADHD. Would that be AOADHD? Maybe I should start meditating again. What was that app called? The one with the sexy monk guy voice. Mmm sexy monks.

Do I look OK? Do I seem OK? Is this angle OK?  Am I behaving like a normal, human woman? Am I a normal, human woman?

Shit! I forgot to put passata on the grocery order. That’s my bolognese buggered. Do you think I could stop this and then quickly add it on. It would only take a minute. Or might that seem a bit mad? I could just write it down rather than actually get my phone because otherwise I will forget. Oh God I can’t remember anything at the moment. Like where the fuck did I put my phone?

Where is my phone? Where is my phone? WHERE IS MY PHONE?

Oh God I need to phone my mother back. I haven’t even listened to her voicemail. Why does she leave voicemails? Stop thinking about your mother. Stop thinking about your mother.

This bottom sheet feels like it’s going to ping off. But really though is it going to ping? I think it’s ready to ping. It’s pinging, it’s pinging, it’s… pinged. Sigh.

But how are they going to make a second series of Big Little Lies?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone