basic instinct, sharon stone, leg cross

Do you have itchy knickers?

Itchy knickers. It isn’t a yeast infection, it’s a state of mind and it means that you’re… sniffing around. Persuadable. If you’re single then it’s a mission. If it strikes in the middle of a long-term relationship then care must be taken to ensure that irreparable mistakes are not made.

Itchy knickers make you wild-eyed and restless. They alter you pheremonally. They make you vulnerable to pastures new. People clock the change. Your friends say ‘How are you?’ in a slightly more investigative way. People flirt with you; their intention ramped up. Old male friends notice you. The only one who won’t notice you and your itchy knickers is your partner. Maybe something’s amiss. Or maybe the itchy knickers aren’t personal and you need to just point those itchy knickers (and maybe knockers) in his direction and have sex every day for a month. Work it out of your damn system. Scratch those itchy knickers. And if they’re still aflame. Well. Hmmmm.

Take note of your itchy knickers. Knowledge is choice. You wear your itchy knickers; they do not wear you.  And even if this warning is too late to heed, even if your itchy knickers have become greedy knickers (more of which later), even if all hell has broken loose, at least when you overhear some bitchy woman whispering, ‘I told you she had itchy knickers’, you’ll know what she’s damn well talking about.

Itchy knickers. Turn them (not literally please) to your advantage. Sexual focus can make you powerful. Sexual incontinence? Please discuss.

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