intensely, relaxed, midults, women, anxiety

9 things to be intensely relaxed about

  1. I’m intensely relaxed about my virus, which I’ve only had for three weeks and has given me the cough of eternity, that makes me sound and feel like I smoke seven hundred fags a day. But it’s a virus and therefore what can I do? Intensely relaxing to know the answer is that I can do absolutely nothing and it will just work its way out. Hopefully by the time I die of something else.
  2. I’m intensely relaxed about my tax bill in January. It’s giving back, in a way. It’s contributing. It’s adult. It’s huge, yes, and I will not be able to eat or heat my house for three months afterwards, but tax is essential in creating a civilised society.
  3. Driving on motorways is intensely relaxing. Just you and a lot of unpredictable, erratic speeding wankers, all just texting in their cars and changing lanes without indicating.
  4. I’m intensely relaxed about people spilling mulled wine on my carpet/cashmere sofa cushions/white blinds/grandmother’s ancient nativity figures/favourite dress. It’s still Christmas! Intensely relaxing! Still!
  5. Donald Trump. What can he REALLY do in the end? Intensely relaxing to know he’ll have people around him like his Chief Strategist (the white supremacist who thinks contraceptive makes women ‘crazy and unnattractive’) and his Secretary of State (the one who has heavy investments in Russia) to guide him along the way.
  6. I’m intensely relaxed about starting to go grey. We’re not barbarians, we have hair dye. What is age, anyway? It’s in the mind. And on the scalp, yes, but you know, it’s also about wisdom and experience. And wisdom. Did I mention experience?
  7. Intensely relaxing to know I’m probably the sort of person who doesn’t really NEED eight hours of sleep. People are not identikit robots. Three hours is absolutely fine, you know. I’m probably just a naturally moody, short-tempered, tired-looking person anyway.
  8. Intensely relaxed about the text I just got saying, “Can I talk to you about something?” There’s a very fine line between anxiety and excitement – what I’m experiencing in my stomach *could* be excitement.
  9. Intensely relaxed about January. What could go wrong? Can’t wait.
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