laura linney, truman show, what you say and what you mean, insta comments, social media

Insta comments: what you say and what you mean…

The holiday post

You say: “That beach looks amazing – so jealous.”

You think: “I will never go on holiday again because I am too poor and will die of vitamin D deficiency-related complications.”

The announcement post

You say: “You’re engaged!!!! So happy for you!!!!”

You think: “If you ask me to be a bridesmaid, I will kill you and then myself.”

The new job post

You say: “Congratulations on your new job!!!”

You think: “Why haven’t I got a new job? I’m cleverer than you. I am the most underrated person on the planet (might pull a sickie tomorrow so I can stay in and watch Girls from scratch again).”

The ‘send this to five inspirational women’ post

You say: “Thanks for tagging me – will send this to five inspirational women.”

You think: “Because if I don’t, the internet demons will find me and slowly make me die with their internet curses – I know it’s stupid, but am now feeling genuinely scared.”

The impossible to see anything but the grammatical error post

You say: “Yes, I totally agree with that.”

You think: “It’s ‘you’re’, actually.”

The food post

You say: “Mmm, that salad looks amazing! What’s the dressing?

You think: “I want to force-feed you a deep fried donut. Quite like the one I just ate.”

The loved-up post

You say: “You two are adorable.”

You think: “Which is ironic, because I’ve heard he’s terrible in bed.”

The blossom post

You say: “So pretty! I heart spring!”

You think: “Not another picture of blossom, seriously, these pictures are all identical and ALL BORING.”

The group selfie at party post

You say: “Your party looks so much fun! So sorry I couldn’t make it.”

You think: “I wish I’d gone. I’m so glad I didn’t go. WHO AM I???”

The selfie in the mirror post

You say: “Major outfit envy!!”

You think: “I hate all my clothes. And your clothes. And all the clothes in the world.”

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