nightmare before christmas, skeleton, christmas, festive

Adventures in Insomnia: Christmas special

Brain: (singing) Frosty the Snowman was a… What was he again?

Me: I don’t remember. 

Brain: Come on, (singing) Frosty the Snowman was a… was a??? A….? A….? A…..?

Me: Was a very…jolly…

Brain: No, that’s not it.

Me: Arrrghh! It’s your job to remember these things!

Brain: Don’t have a go at me – it’s all in here and it’s your fault if you don’t know how to access the right memory compartment

Me: Why are we even talking about this? Be quiet.

Brain: OK, let’s talk about something else. 

Me: No. 

Brain: Like the fact that you have spent a fortune this month and will earn far less because of the forced time off. 

Me: I can’t not get people Christmas presents

Brain: Scary though…and with next month’s tax bill.

Me: Thanks, you bastard.

Brain: Still, Christmas will be fun…..(evil laugh)

Me: What was that for?

Brain: Come on, we’re both dreading it.

Me: I’m turning over and going to sleep now.

Brain: Your angry sister. Your pervy uncle. Your disappointed mother. 

Me: You forgot my deranged grandmother. 

Brain: The presents you get that just remind you how little these people know you.

Me: When I’ve made such an effort to be thoughtful.

Brain: Like they care.

Me: Why don’t they care

Brain: Because you’re not married. Which only makes you half a person at Christmas. 

Me: Stop talking about this.

Brain: No children.

Me: YET.

Brain: Nothing.

Me: I’ve got a good job.

Brain: Won’t stop you sleeping in a single bed in a room you’re sharing with your two-year-old nephew though, will it?

Me: Oh, I see. You WANT me to kill myself.

Brain: (singing) Frosty the snowman was a…..????

Me: …highly dangerous terrorist for all I care.

Brain: No, that’s not it.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone