Me: The thing is, I’m pretty sensitive.
You: I’m pretty sensitive too.
Me: Like, REALLY sensitive.
You: I’m so sensitive
Me: Literally everything makes me cry.
You: This is making me upset just talking about it.
Me: I mean, I could never watch Stranger Things or anything because I would find it too shocking.
You: I can’t even say the words ‘Stranger Things’ without having a breakdown.
Me: Even the idea of, say, watching the news is just….
You: If I ever watched the news, I think I would genuinely die.
Me: OMG, those vet programmes…
You: I’m actually tearing up.
Me: I accidentally saw one episode where they injected this snake called Margaret and I cried and cried.
You: I’m going now. I’M GOING.
Me: Poor, poor Margaret.
You: UNBEARABLE FOR MARGARET.
You: OK, you might as well be repeatedly stabbing my chest cavity open with a butter knife, that’s how much pain I’m in right now.
Me: I wish I were less sensitive. I wish I felt LESS, you know?
You: I wish I loved less. I just love so much.
Me: I have so much love that I’m surprised I am able to even breathe.
You: The love I feel for others is almost barbaric in its extremeness.
Me: I mean, I hate how much I love.
You: I have so much love it has ruined my whole life.
Me: I feel so isolated by my sensitivity.
You: I literally have no friends because I’m too sensitive.
Me: Like, I mind about EVERYTHING.
You: If I minded more about things, I would be sectioned.
Me: I actually feel envious of people less sensitive than me.
You: I mean, I’m envious of you.
Me: Errr….I don’t think you would be if you were inside my head.
You: I can imagine myself inside your head. Because I’m so sensitive.
Me: Right. OK – so what am I thinking of right this second?
You: You know… something sad.
Me: WRONG. I was thinking of a sunset. Which made me feel gratitude, actually.
Me: Yes, I was about to cry too.
You: (still crying) Sorry, I can’t… (flaps hands in front of face)
Me: (also crying) I know, I know.
You: It’s just… you know?
Me: I really do.
You: Do you though?
Me: More than you’ll ever know.
You: I knew you’d say that. I’m very sensitive to what people are going to say.
Me: (thinking) Oh, shut up.
You: (thinking) What an insensitive bitch.