Fallouts with friends hurt. They sting like hell and then the sting fades and… then what. Rapprochement? Perhaps, but sometimes friendships reach their sell-by-date, expire, cease to be nutritious or happy-making or safe-feeling. THEN WHAT? Resentment? Well that’s just silly. As we well know, resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. It doesn’t work.
So. The pain has gone. The outrage has subsided. You are resolved that there will be no reconciliation. And so you find yourself… done. Closed for business. You have given enough energy to this situation. That column on the emotional spreadsheet is… null and void. No point faking it… that takes vigour that would be better used elsewhere.
Closed for business has no malice. It may include a degree of ennui but you will probably still wish your ex-friend well in a lacklustre kind of a way. Not least because you want karma on your side. But they are basically dead to you.
You avoid bumping into them because overcoming awkwardness takes energy and, as we have already established, you are not putting any more energy into this pot. Closed for business means the shutters are drawn, the lights are out and access is denied. Bump into them and a blank smile combined with, “You look wonderful” while walking – never stopping, always moving, maintaining momentum – should do it. An amputation has occurred. And where you may still feel a tingling where the friendship once was, it has been removed. And that is that.