spongebob squarepants, bubbles, cleaning, washing, how often, hygiene, dirty

How often do you wash…

One of the things about Midulthood is that, through the alchemy of time, experience and lessons learned, you suddenly have an unwritten set of rules you live by. A kind of code of behaviour that we tend to agree on. Like when it’s OK to cancel (it’s always OK); try not to be a dick (even when things are tough) and swearing helps. But then there are the washing rules. A minefield of do’s and don’ts; of vastly diverging paths and priorities. It’s a sticky topic. So we’ve created a survey. You may not be able to cope with the answers though. Or the lies. And so, here goes: How often do you wash your…


An easy starter. Every 3/4 days or so, say some. But what happens if you don’t wear pants with the pyjamas? What then? *looks you directly in the eye*


Not a half-arsed spray with some Windolene; an actual window cleaner clean. (Full disclosure. One of us has never in 6 years had their windows properly cleaned)


Not the same as pyjamas, right? Less “contact”. Can go a bit longer, right? Please say yes…


The actual duvet – wait you can wash the duvet? Yes you can wash the duvet. Do you feel dirty now? (*begins to scan house… sofa covers… curtains… walls.* Walls? Should we wash our walls. Has panic attack)


Apparently every 3 or 4 wears. *silence*


YASSSS it’s sweater weather again… But washing jumpers? They are never as nice, soft, shapey. Would you rather have a gorgeously-shaped fluffy jumper that smells ‘deodoranty’ or something fragrant but unloveable…?

Slobbing around gear

You know the terrible clothes (can they even be called clothes?) that you deliberately put on to cook in, to cuddle the dog in, to fix stuff in, to eat a Deliveroo in. The ones that live on the chair in your room or in your special self-loathing drawer so they don’t pollute everything else you own. The clothes you wear most. Those. And we do mean wash. Not just pick the stains off.


In the loo, on the tube, with all your face on it, and spit and fingers touching it, and disease and death and dear God I am going to Dettol my phone now, back in a second.


Do you lovingly take your bronzer brushes, foundation brushes, eyebrow ones, that rattle at the bottom of your bag and sometimes fall on the floor of the tube and wash them in warm mild shampoo-y water once a month? Do you?

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