grease, sandy, shocked, wide-eyed

The horror of bumping into someone you shagged

So you go to a wedding and you bump into someone you went to university with and he goes, “Hi I haven’t seen you since you shagged Jack” (that is his real name and this actually happened). Or you go to a book launch and the first person you see is someone you had a one night stand with (I may have shagged him a second time, who knows?) and ended up in the Park Lane Hilton and had to go to work dressed in the same clothes and everyone knew and you were only 25 for heaven’s sake. Or you go to a 40th and you’ve had sex with three of the people there (present partner included *adds quickly*).

My sexual past keeps popping up and it’s beginning to feel harder and harder to deal with. Because someone else slept with those people, an entirely different human with different skin and body and hair. It was 20 years ago. And so why am I having to pick up the pieces via these incredibly awkward conversations?

Back at the book launch. His wife is there and we end up looking at pictures of his children (my fault for asking) which is oddly weird because I am having a 20-year sex flashback at the time. What is a 20-year-old flashback like? Hazy, naked. ARGGH did we have to be naked? He ran me a bath. Oof.

And now I am never going to leave the house again because out in the world there are thousands of people (not thousands Mum, obviously) who have seen a 20-something girl without her clothes on and this 40-something woman is NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

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