Do you find it hard to be happy? Does happy feel like something that’s meant for other people? This is not to say that you don’t laugh and love, but perhaps you are a bit haunted. A bit pretending to be who you think you might be. A bit dark side of the moon. A bit half empty.
So, one day, you suddenly think, “I feel most peculiar. Am I coming down with something? Because I am experiencing an unfamiliar sensation.” And then you pause and drill down for a moment and you wonder if you might be feeling happy. Not manic or excited or speedy but happy. Christ.
Then what do you do? I mean, how can you trust this strange, trippy feeling of contentment that may have come from a flower or a sky or a job or a kiss? How to rely on this fickle, fast-moving fair weather feeling?
The answer is don’t. Happiness is a sprite; however much meditation and recovery and therapy and medication and romance and shopping and eating and drinking and dancing and working and exercising and travelling you do, it will always come and go beyond your control. Feelings are naughty; they run away. Thoughts, however, they belong – at least a little – to you.
So maybe, if you find yourself blindsided by a slice of happy, just notice. Just stop and see how it feels and gently you will be chiselling a new neural pathway and forming a healthy little habit. Get to know it. Make it your friend. Whack out the welcome mat so that it might want to visit you more often. Do you dare to be happy? Like all affairs of the heart, it’s a risk…