Have you recently been hit by a time terrorist? So-called because they blow up your day. They take an ordinary, perfectly simple arrangement like ‘lunch’ and mess with it so spectacularly that you wonder who you are and why you are even here. Take this recent flurry of texts received in response to one solitary text that said, “Sunday lunch 12:30?”:
3:30pm, Saturday: “Yes! I’ll be with you at 10 tomorrow. Can’t wait spend all day with you.”
6pm, Saturday: “Argh I now have to leave at 2, but as I will definitely be with you at 11 we’ll practically have all day.”
9am, Sunday: “What time is lunch again? See you at 12”
11:58am, Sunday: “Argh I am held up. Be there 1300”
13:15pm, Sunday: “Nearly there *smileyface*”
13:40pm, Sunday: “I’m outside.”
The only time you were even remotely happy during the course of this exchange was at 3:31pm on Saturday when you felt safe in the knowledge that lunch was at 12:30. But even then you were slightly suspicious, unnerved, cynical. Because time terrorists are untrustworthy. They are devious. They make YOU feel bad because you are being *inflexible*, because your beef is burnt, your chicken is dry, your parking has run out or you have – God forbid – another friend. So you shut up and slowly go insane as the text excuses come thick and fast and by the time the terrorist does turn up you erupt like Vesuvius over Caecilius. And you didn’t mean to.
So now you are the bad guy. But you are just hungry. And annoyed. Maybe, just maybe, you were really looking forward to it. So you are hurt. That’s the trouble with time terrorists. They are bad news for your day and your feelings. Buck up, guys.