1. A film in bed
You know you’re not supposed to look at screens in bed, but all rules have gone out of the window and it’s the only way your bed will stop feeling like it’s out to destroy you (because INSOMNIA). Pretty Woman from the comfort of your own duvet. Or Some Like it Hot.
2. A puppy
Pull yourself out of the mire by getting your hands on a puppy. Play with something little and fluffy with big eyes that wants to roll around on the floor with you and lick your face without you then finding out it was just on a break from its girlfriend and actually they have a child together like your last Tinder date.
3. A holiday
You need to take some advice from Elvis and leave the building. They say you can’t run away from your problems, but you might as well get a tan while your mind is unravelling. And as you stand on some far flung beach, crying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” at least no one will be able to understand you. Plan.
4. New piercing
Reckless enough to give you an adrenaline rush, but not so reckless that you have a permanent reminder of your crushing fear like a tattoo. A new piercing will make you a bit sparklier, a bit more vivid, a bit back in control. Except obviously it won’t but that’s not the point, OK?
5. Expensive bath oil
You know what will happen here. You’ll spend a fortune on some bath oil and then spend all day thinking about the bath oil and unscrewing the lid every now and then so you can smell the bath oil and think about it some more. And then it’ll finally be the evening when you can run the bath and then you can add the bath oil and sit in the bath feeling terrified about your nameless dread but also feeling really pleased that you are all silky and scented. But also worried that the bottle is now half-empty.