- Farm boy becomes obsessed with hermit, who begins to indoctrinate him into a mysterious cult. He wants to kill his father, but fancies his sister and ends up murdering thousands of people when he blows up their place of work.
= Star Wars
- A girl totally changes her personality, appearance, behaviour and takes up smoking to please a boy.
- Girl develops Stockholm Syndrome for her captor of a bestial nature, talks to the furniture and performs magic tricks with bodily fluid.
= Beauty and the Beast
- A group of small hairy boys with huge feet walk for a really long time to get rid of a piece of jewellery that makes people behave very badly.
= Lord of the Rings
- Marauding university teacher loots religious artefacts whilst continuously wearing a hat.
= Raiders of the Lost Ark
- Unremarkable girl is continuously fought over by a sparkly living corpse and an oversized dog before giving birth to a parasite that kills her until she is brought back to life by having poison orally injected into her body.
= Twilight Saga
- Boy shags his future mother-in-law, lies to his future wife and wrecks her wedding.
= The Graduate
- Fish’s natural survival instinct results in its persecution and violent death.
- Girl cheats on future husband with boy she just met and then murders him.
- Billionaire likes to wear rubber and put on a silly voice and drive around in a stupid hairdresser’s car breaking the speed limit.
- Man finds life as a woman significantly more fulfilling and reaches levels of fame he didn’t know were possible before becoming an unsuccessful man again.
- Disabled insomniac has his relationship saved by his neighbour cutting up his wife.
= Rear Window
- Men with fake names argue about Madonna.
= Reservoir Dogs
- Man dumps girlfriend at airport.