Of course you practise strict sleep hygiene (ommmmmm) and are tucked up by 10pm every night. But every now and then you have a Googlie Night. It’s your latter day version of rock and roll…
You spend days, maybe years, online trying to find ways to afford the holiday you want to go on. You reset easyjet a thousand times, with all the different airports and days and times. You fiddle with car hires. You weigh up hotels vs Airbnb vs actual B&B. You are on Tripadvisor, Trivago, Hopper – you don’t even know what Hopper is but you are on it. Getting tireder and tireder. And less and less on holiday.
Obviously you are happy. Obviously everything is FINE. But you go on a job board just to see what’s out there. To check your worth/competition. And suddenly you are looking up jobs in New Zealand. You think about applying. You might even apply. When they email back, you panic.
Random celebrity couples Googlie
Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa. Channing Tatum’s break-up with Jenna Dewan. Who is Michelle Williams dating now? Taylor Swift and Joe whatshisname? Ronan Farrow and Jon Lovett? Just some of the things we absolutely didn’t look up recently because their business is their business.
TV Show Googlie
You have been addicted to SMILF but you didn’t want to look anything up because SPOILERS. But the binge is over and now you can look up everyone and everything and really roll around in the hay.
You have very itchy limbs at the moment. It’s odd the itching. So you begin your diagnostic google. Four hours later you have ruled out Scarlett Fever, Athlete’s Foot and Eczema. Perhaps you should have been a doctor…
You want a tattoo. But you can’t decide if you are going to have a star (too vanilla?), letters (too risky?) or a cartoon character (how old are you?). So you spend hours typing ‘small, stylish and virtually painless tattoos’.
It started with Cambridge Analytica. But soon you are balls deep into the faked moon landings, the Cold War, the assassination of JFK, the murder of Princess Diana and why Rose didn’t let Jack on the door. You think about tweeting Julian Assange.