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Describing yourself in five words might get you laid

Tinder has an in-house sociologist. Her name is Dr. Jessica Carbino. She did a PhD at UCLA in facial attractiveness and online dating. And is about 15. When she speaks we listen: what she doesn’t know about online dating isn’t worth knowing. She likes maltipoos.

There’s been a lot in the ether about why men swipe right more than women. Dr. Jess looked at the data and suggested that some men simply don’t know what to say when they match with women. Because there aren’t enough conversation-starters in your beautifully-written, committee-crafted bio. Carbino suggests that you include a question in your profile (I like donuts, do you?) or just launch into a mini quiz once you’ve been matched. We like ‘Describe yourself in five words’.

Because one successful Tinder exchange that we heard about (while doing our exhaustive and highly scientific research) started with the man asking the woman to describe herself in five words. So I tried: enthusiastic, nice, sometimes funny. Then I got stuck. Clearly a trip to the therapist is due if I can only describe myself in three/four words. Oh the pressure of a word to describe myself that is both simultaneously appealing and true – I mean I came up with nice. So I am clearly screwed. Or rather not. And this is not even in real time, there is no potential life partner waiting in cyber space for an answer. I tried ‘Entrepreneur’ and immediately hated myself. ‘Enterprising’ someone suggested. And the same person suggested that ’nice’ could become ‘warm’. Now you?

Or if being grilled by Paxman is your thing (yes, please) you could try quickfire questions: Cinema or television? Winter or spring? Pasta or pizza? Tea or tequila? A friend tells us that on a first encounter, her date drew up a multiple choice quiz on a napkin. She shagged him. So you could try that.

Because we love being asked questions. Everyone loves being asked questions. Don’t they? They are great, aren’t they? Connectors, conversation-starters. Who knows where they will take you? So go forth and multiple choice…

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