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Are you good in bed?

How good in bed are you? “One thing I know,” says a friend, riven with self-doubt about almost everything else, “is that I am fantastic in bed. If you need any tips just come and ask me.” But we have absolutely no idea and suspect we may be a bit meat and two veg. As it were. So here, according to Bustle, are some scientifically researched indicators that you are sensational in the sack –  ribbed for your Midult pleasure.

  1. You love coffee ice cream. A 2013 study by the Smell and Taste Institute in Chicago found coffee ice cream lovers are all about being in the moment, in the here and now. So that’s good for sex. Not lying there thinking about your personal trainer. Not that that ever happens.
  2. You drink two glasses of wine a day.  Wow, that’s specific. A 2009 study by the University of Florence found that women who drink two glasses of wine a day are better in bed and more satisfied than those who only drink one glass of wine a day or none at all. But what about if you drink three? Or nine?
  3. You are clever. A university study involving 2,000 women, aged 20 to 65, found that those with higher intelligence have “up to twice as many orgasms” than those who aren’t as intelligent. Now where did I put my Sartre?
  4. You know what you want to eat. Are you one of those who glances at a menu and immediately knows what you fancy and orders it? Hell, you might even order for other people because you know what they want too. Bad news if you are a ditherer.
  5. And when your food arrives, you eat slowly. Because you like to savour your food, enjoy it, indulge your palate. Not all gulping it down at a hundred miles an hour because ANYTHING could happen and you can’t cope when you are hungry.
  6. You love politics. According to Match’s 2016 Singles in America study, it means you’re in good in bed. In fact it seems that the more enthusiastic you are about politics, the more orgasms you’re likely to have. It puts Michael Gove in a whole new light, doesn’t it? (No it doesn’t)
  7. Left-handed. 12% of the population is left-handed. This is kind of a consolation prize for the scissors, the ticket barriers being on the wrong side and the scissors. The scissors are a huge bore.
  8. You love eye contact. Look at you staring into everyone’s eyes. Look at you determinedly never breaking that contact. You are not even remotely creepy, are you? Just amazing in bed.
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