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Always within arm’s reach

Change is coming. Change is here. You’ve changed. It’s wonderful and painful and terrifying. And sometimes to keep in touch with some part of your self, the one from before, before break-ups and promotions, therapy and tricky diagnoses, you hold a little part of that life separately somewhere. So that you can have access to it. Welcome to the Just In Case.

I only recently took a strip of beta blockers out of my make-up bag. I hadn’t taken one for two years. But I needed to know they were at hand. Just in case.

You could be someone who keeps tampax in her sink cupboard even though because of the coil or the menopause or whatever you haven’t had a period in four years. But, you know, just in case.

You may have given up smoking years ago but still carry around a pack with just one fag in there. For moments that you never want to have, bad news, but also to hold on to those days when the best thing about work was the fag break or when smoking on the beach made you feel completely free.

Or you may have kept all your old boyfriends’ telephone numbers. They were all awful. But they are a part of a part of you.

The Just in Case is not a bunker mentality, all carefully stacked tinned goods, batteries and bottled water. It’s not about being organised and having pound coins for parking. This is for a different kind of survival. The survival of your old self. Just in case.

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