glenn close, woman, types of woman, cruella devil, deborah kerr, black narcissus, julianna marguiles, good wife, melissa mccarthy, spy

We’re all more than one woman

Do you ever feel that you are a complete mystery to yourself? As in: Who IS this person? She is unrecognisable from the me of 30 seconds ago. As in: Roses are red violets are blue, I’m an enigma to myself and so am I and so is she who is also me. Oh God.

This is because we are all more than one woman.  Here are just a few of us:

Wonder Woman: I wonder where this hair came from? I wonder where my dreams went? I wonder where my keys are? I wonder if I’ll ever get un-tired? I wonder if I should make a will? I wonder what my house is worth?

Dead From The Waist Down Woman: I may never have sex again. I am perfectly happy and satisfied with the long, grey bush of wisdom. Get that penis away from metoo needy.

The Pervert: Everywhere I look I see hot stuff everywhere. I may abandon everyone in my life for one night with that hairy guy on the tube. Inexplicable and inappropriate horn descends. A new kind of needy.

See Saw Woman: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Zero fucks left to give. Don’t want to hear about the pain. Cut to: I must decant my entire house into bags for the charity shop and I can’t bear how beautiful children are and that cat is making me cry. And back again.

Overthinking WomanAll night, every night. Small problems become total disintegration. Minor rows became destroyed relationships. Tight finances become homelessness. Challenges become vicious enemies. I need to get the hell out of my own way and mutate immediately into…

Unthinking Woman: I *think* I am bad at maths. I assume I can’t manage lateral thought. But when it the situation demands – and the adrenaline soars – I am able to solve problems in nano-seconds. Otherwise known as Get It Done Girl. Except when it comes to tax returns when I become, Get Someone Else To Get It Done Girl.

Fury Female: I am a bomb about to be detonated. Road rage, bra rage, stop chewing so loudly rage, feeling vulnerable rage, why do I have to do everything rage. RAGE

Oh Spiritual One: I go to one yoga class, brew a warm milk and turmeric then connect with the universe for about 15 seconds. Currently the most inactive part of me.

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