mercury, planet, solar system, retrograde, space

It’s all Mercury’s fault

Do you feel like absolute hell? Are you currently experiencing crippling fear? Have your stress levels gone spiralling at a thousand miles an hour into total freefall? Do you feel constantly sick with a headache that feels like someone is trying to axe their way out of your skull? Do you keep bursting into uncontrollable tears at work/in the street?

Try not to worry. You are not having a breakdown/losing your mind/about to spontaneously combust/rapidly approaching death/going to end up living in a tree. It’s not your fault. None of it. Mercury is in retrograde. And that means we are all feeling a bit screwed or suicidal, but it’s totally the fault of this little planet. Weird, yes. But true, probably.

The world is essentially divided into those who believe in the power of Mercury to disrupt like a motherfucker and those who don’t. If you don’t, we can be friends but never really close. But you believe, right? So it’s OK.

Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel, so when the planet goes into retrograde (i.e. hangs out nearer the sun so looks like it’s going backwards, away from Earth) everything simply goes nuts. As in don’t make any big plans, don’t worry if you are arguing with everyone and don’t panic: It’s going to be a shit show until September 5th and then back to normal. Please focus on this important fact. It is only temporary – like most stressful things in life. The darkest hour is before dawn. That’s better.

P.S. If you are ever in any doubt, go to ismercuryinretrograde.com. Essential. Like breathing.

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