angry bird, rage, anger, angry, fury

All the colours of the rage rainbow

Yes there’s road rage and period rage and plane rage but here are some other rages that we have experienced, er, quite recently.

Unidentified object in the bagging area rage

There you are, listening to your highly educational podcast, blissfully alone at the checkout counter with no conversation to make. And there it is, on cue, the unidentified object. But where is the object? There is no object. NO OBJECT. So now you have to ask for assistance which means you have to talk to someone. Great.

International Netflix rage

You go away, let’s say to Sweden, and get stuck into a brilliant Netflix series, let’s say Black Sails. Anyway the holiday selfishly ends before you’ve finished watching and after you’ve struggled home you happily turn on the TV. And IT IS NOT ON IN THIS TERRITORY. What? Why?

PPI Rage

The first 15,00000 calls, you were perfectly polite. But now…

Rain rage

What, is it raining? Again? What is this? WHY IS IT ALWAYS RAINING?

Duvet rage

The moment when you’ve managed to wrestle the duvet into the cover but for some reason the corners are not cooperating and you are also inside the cover and you are a hot, sweaty mess (not in a good way) and you did it perfectly the last time and why aren’t the corners going in the corners? You have a post-meltdown nap, under a lumpy, half-on duvet.

Uber rage

Yes they are cheaper. Yes they are more convenient and less inclined to talk about Boris or Brexit. BUT sometimes they take a wrong turn. Arseholes. And you end up in a one-way system. Dicks. And FFS do not take that road. DO NOT TAKE THAT ROAD. Reader: he took that road.

Second course is taking so long rage

Service was brilliantly brisk. Orders speedily taken. Wine was almost instant. Starters came in seconds. And then TEN YEARS LATER you are still there. Eating bread. And you are never getting to bed.

Blackspot rage

You are on an important call. It keeps cutting out. Maybe you are on a train. The other person calls back. Then you call back. Then it cuts out again. Then no one calls back. Then you call each other back AT THE SAME TIME. And everyone is shouting now.

Rage rage

When you are angry about being angry. So furious with yourself for being so out of fucking control. You may even stamp your foot. AAAARGGGHHH.

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