bugs bunny, looney tunes, insomnia, sleeplessness, bed, worry, brexit

Adventures in Insomnia: Brexit special

Brain: Are you not sleeping because you’re worrying about Brexit?

Me: I was sleeping, actually.

Brain: Are you thinking about Article 50 being triggered?

Me: Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

Brain: Yeah, it’s happening today, you moron.

Me: Oh.

Brain: You probably blocked it out because you’re so worried about it.

Me: I’m so sick of thinking about bloody Brexit.

Brain: Because it’s so worrying.

Me: And depressing.

Brain: And depressing, yes, I was going to say that.

Me: I feel depressed now.

Brain: We’ll be leaving the European Union……

Me: I don’t want to leave the European Union. I wish I was Irish.

Brain: ……You should be leaving your job.

Me: Wait, what?

Brain: And this flat.

Me: I don’t want to leave this flat.

Brain: You’ve got no choice. You can’t afford to stay in it. You’ve GOT to leave.

Me: You’re right, but where would I live?

Brain: Well, you can’t move in with your boyfriend, that’s for sure.

Me: Why?

Brain: Because you should be leaving him.

Me: Why do I have to leave him?

Brain: Because he says things like, “Give me the whole nine yards” and he dances badly with no irony.

Me: Oh my God, I should leave him.

Brain: Yes, when you leave your job and leave this house, you should leave your boyfriend too.

Me: What is to become of me?

Brain: I don’t know, but it’s not good.

Me: I need to talk to someone. Who should I talk to?

Brain: No one, just leave it.

Me: I can’t, I’m so worried. What is going to happen to the single market?

Brain: You *might* meet someone else. Probably not, though.

Me: I meant the financial single market.

Brain: Not your problem. You don’t have any money.

Me: Oh my God, I don’t have any money.

Brain: You better leave this bed and go and do some pacing.

Me: You’re right – better tidy some drawers.

Brain: Look at some emails.

Me: Can’t I leave those until the morning?

Brain: No.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone