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7 things to give zero fucks about

1. Your age

“I don’t celebrate birthdaysIt stops me from counting days, which stops me from counting time, which allows me to still look the same as I did 10 years ago, said Prince, and who are you to argue with Prince

2. Not being the same dress size you were ten years ago

So you’re a size fourteen when you used to be a ten – guess what, the world is still turning because it gives zero fucks about the numbers on the tiny label inside your jumper. Guys, the whole thing is invented to help deduce what fits you, not as a stick to beat yourself with. Let’s keep the vibe high.

3. When your ex starts going out with someone else before you do

It’s always bloody awful when you first find out. Of course it is. But him being unhappy does not make you not unhappy. Let the bastard be happy. You can and will do better and then one day you won’t care about the other girlfriend but you will care that you were an arsehole about it.

4. That you don’t want to get drunk as much

Hangovers used to be funny. They are now no longer funny. They are minimum 24 hours of genuine illness and who has the time for self-imposed illness? Or the paranoia? Or the worrying about whether you were indiscreet/inappropriate/cried?

5. Doing things on your own

Going out for lunch. Going to the cinema. Going on holiday. You get to decide everything – where, when, how. This isn’t lonely, it’s immensely civilised.

6. When you haven’t waxed

It’s only hair. Unless you are Teen Wolf and it’s actually blocking entrances like it’s trying to keep out Mexicans. Even then, it’s only hair and sometimes a girl needs her winter coat.

7. Not finishing books

It’s like saying you have to be friends with everyone you meet. Sometimes things just don’t gel and that’s OK. Life’s too short to not be reading something you actually want to read. There are so many books out there… and so little time.

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