Sixteen Going on Seventeen – The Sound of Music
Completely pointless unless you are Liesl running across and jumping between the furniture in the sitting room while your friend, who you’ve forced to be Rolf, holds your hand.
Making Your Mind Up – Bucks Fizz
Four shaggy blondes dressed in primary colours and the jauntiest song ever. Who can forget how breathtaking it was when the girls get their skirts whipped off to reveal minis underneath? Was that not one of the most gripping moments of your childhood? Almost impossible to re-enact unless you had a parent patient enough to get the Velcro out and literally make you the outfit. Better just to freestyle this one.
Thriller – Michael Jackson
What with the Thriller video being as seminal a cinematic experience as it’s allowed to get, it was hard not to feel your whole life had been culturally shaken to the core. Learning that zombie dance was essential for everything – parties, school plays, entertaining your parents’ friends, killing time in the waiting room before going in to see the dentist etc.
Vogue – Madonna
The ultimate test of your skill. Learning how to Vogue required a) taping the video on Top of the Pops, b) A LOT of pausing and rewinding and c) teaching yourself how to do the running man. This was less for fun and more for art. You don’t ‘Vogue’ and laugh. You are serious. You are not in your school gym, you are in the underground nightclubs of Paris being worshipped by gay men wearing crucifixes and transparent gauze tops.
Walk This Way – Run DMC & Aerosmith
Feeling a bit street now, actually. Got your Fila trainers on. Probably a wide stretchy headband too and a Batman t-shirt. This would be a good routine to learn to teach to younger children at school so they are BLOWN AWAY by how cool you are.
Wouldn’t Change A Thing – Kylie Minogue
While you might not have noticed that Kylie was effectively churning out the same song with slightly altered tempos, her videos were hypnotic. Tiny and perfect, she was also comfortingly cosy and the sort of dream older sister who taught you how to do all the actions to the words. Thanks Kylie!
In The Air Tonight – Phil Collins
Less of a dance routine, more of an interactive theatre experience. The drama of the opening chords. The menace of the story itself. Will you be the man drowning or will you be the one who walks away? Both roles are equally important. You and your friend will have to work on how you tell this bleak story through interpretive dance before you take a break to watch Neighbours.