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12 words we need to bring back

  1. Canoodle: Netflix and chill was always fairly annoying. We fancy a canoodle.
  2. Rascal: He’s a bit of a rascal, isn’t he? To describe dogs and men. Not Uber drivers who hurtle directly into the heart of a traffic jam though. They are cocks.
  3. Flibbertigibbet: Need an affectionate sort of criticism? All while channelling the Sound of Music nuns solving a problem like Maria? This is it. Say it out loud. You will remain irreproachable.
  4. Monkey business: Imagine if you slammed your lady-fist on the table in the middle of a meeting and said, “Enough of this monkey business.”  Everyone would be dumbstruck.
  5. Safe: Not as in ‘I feel so safe right now’, or ‘This is my safe place’. But rather how we used it when we were 15. Are we still on for tonight? Do you like my trainers? Isn’t this a great song? Safe. (Nod and repeat)
  6. Sensation: How marvellous to be called a sensation. Hot, classy, impactful. You are a sensation in that jumpsuit.
  7. Humdinger: As in it was a real humdinger of an argument, shag, car accident. Puts ‘full-on’ to shame.
  8. Mettle: To be used instead of balls. Because we may not have balls. But we have mettle. And, these days, we are mettle detectors.
  9. Groovy: We’ve reclaimed the previously repellent ‘pussy’, hell we might as well get our teeth into groovy too. How are you feeling? ‘Groovy’. Not at all embarrassing.
  10. Ratty: More than cross, less than angry, different to moody.
  11. Vulgar: Since we constantly seem to be in judgement mode at the moment, is there anything more damning than ‘vulgar’? What a vulgar man, vulgar thought, vulgar gesture. So haute.
  12. Fatigue: I am not Tired All The Time (TATT). I am fatigued all the time (FATT. Oh). More elegant.
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