heathers, funeral, funeral songs, music, death

11-ish unnerving funeral songs

A new list of the country’s most popular funeral songs put My Way at Number One. My Way. A song that indicates the deceased has always done everything entirely conventionally while secretly believing themselves to be a rebel. There may have been a snazzy waistcoat involved. What a card. Posthumous wit is a tough one. Famously, Spike Milligan’s tombstone says ‘I told you I was ill’ but musical wit? Virtually impossible. So what about totally surreal and potentially exceedingly uncomfortable? The sort of tunes that make the assembled mourners wonder if they ever really knew you at all. Now that’s more our speed. Here are some unnerving funeral songs that we at The Midult are considering for our grand finale:

  1. The Peppa Ping theme tune – on a loop. There is no escape. And there is no explanation
  2. Sympathy for the Devil – because that’s probably who we are about to meet so we want to play nice
  3. Light My Fire  – while you are about to slide into the cremation chamber. Immediately followed by Relight My Fire in case the congregation need to be further disturbed
  4. While we are on cremation, you could have fun with Hot In Here and Disco Inferno
  5. Heads Shoulder Knees and Toes (with a very solemn directive to do all the actions as in: ‘It would have meant a lot to her’)
  6. Dynasty theme tune – I mean this is THE dramatic exit
  7. Murder, She Wrote theme tune – nothing like the whiff of suspicion to give the wake a kick up the arse
  8. Everybody Dance Now – well it’s your funeral
  9. I like big butts and I cannot lie – or any other massively inappropriate R&B tracks
  10. The Birdie song – a little bit of this… (see above for solemn action directive)
  11. The theme from Jaws – now they are properly terrified. Serves them right. Them with all their breathing and blood flow…
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