miss havisham, great expectations, single, unmarried woman

10 things… to say when people ask why you’re not married

  1. “I’m very, very boring. And very, very stupid. Sorry.”
  2. “Because I like sex and I want to keep having it.”
  3. “I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m half a person as a result.”
  4. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
  5. “I’m TERRIBLE in bed.”
  6. “Wait, have you been talking to my mother?” (laugh loudly and then pretend to burst into tears)
  7. “I’d just really struggle with someone making my house untidy.”
  8. “I can’t even decide what I want for lunch, let alone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
  9. “I’m still sleeping around, that’s the problem – just ask your husband!”
  10. “Is getting a husband harder than getting a dog because THAT was overwhelming.”
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