lord peter mandelson, autobiography, tv advert, things to miss about the 00s, 00s, noughties, reminisce

10 things to miss about the Noughties

1. Juicy Tubes

Juicy Tubes by Lancome were like football stickers for grown ups. Remember how many you owned? In colours like violet and sparkly orange, each with its own taste and texturally as thick as the glue they use to trap mice in. God forbid you should encounter even a slight breeze with your hair down wearing one of these.

2. iPods

A simpler time when your mind was blown by the sound quality and you didn’t have your enjoyment of Keane’s first album ruined by someone sending you a text.

3. Nokia phones

No pressure to find an amusing GIF to go with your text or a witty stream of emojis for your recipient to decode. No email to open at midnight on a Friday to then give you a sleepless night. No sleep app to tell you not to open emails at midnight on a Friday. And a battery that lasted for days.

4. Mix CDs

The incredible sophistication of a mix CD compared to a mix tape. The sleekness of it. The ease with which you could hop past the dreary songs your boyfriend had added by Radiohead that were meant to be romantic, but which you didn’t really understand.

5. Wondering what was going to happen to Carrie and Mr Big

Would they end up together? Wouldn’t they? But would they? And was it going to be OK? Watching the final episode on the phone to friends. In real time. Along with everyone else. JOHN!!!!!!!!

6. Black cabs

Remember the days before you would automatically get into any old Prius driven by a complete stranger summoned by the internet? When finding a black cab in the West End on a Friday night was the only miracle you ever needed to hope for. And the drivers knew their way to every nook and cranny. They still do. Shame.

7. Peter Mandelson

There was something about Peter Mandelson. Something reassuring about his darkness. About his expensiveness. Something weirdly cosy about his seeming devilishness. A proper villain. Called Mandy.

8. Low-rent TV talent shows

Before it got all stage-managed and 360-degree camera angled and back-storied out of its arse, the TV talent show was an amazing thing. The gaffer taped Xs, wobbly backdrops and Will Young arguing with Simon Cowell. When you really believed you were helping find a talent rather than line someone’s pockets. We cried, we even voted. Dammit, we cared.

9. Disposable cameras

The jeopardy of the one-take photo. No previews. No filters. Just the dice rolled and the results waited for. Who doesn’t miss that excitement of going to collect their prints from the chemist and the rush of looking through them for the first time? The delight in the ones that came out well! The quick ripping up of the ones that didn’t!

10. Renting DVDs

The arguments over which film to watch haven’t changed, just the location. At least you used to have to get off your arse to row with your boyfriend in Blockbusters about what you were going to watch, him waving a copy of Days of Thunder, you brandishing Steel Magnolias.

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