sayings, anxiety, memory, what, repeat

10 things you probably say every day

1. “What the fuck….?”

What the fuck am I doing in this relationship/dress/job/life/with this spoon in my hand?

2. “No, I am listening.”

I am not listening, I’m thinking about Tom Hardy in Taboo and why he keeps not wearing any trousers, but thank you for alerting me to the fact that I’ve got my ‘I’m not listening’ face on.

3. “I’m sorry, can you say that again?”

Too tired/bored/disconsolate/angry to try to pay attention to the words being emitted from your mouth. Mostly thinking about the sex I’m not having, the clothes I’m not buying and the conversion I can’t afford.

4. “How can it be that time already?”

I have achieved absolutely nothing today and it’s my fault, probably, because Instagram has been too tempting, as has the Net-a-Porter sale/all those Biden Obama memes/YouTube tutorials on how to do smoky eyes and now it’s bedtime. It’s always bedtime in my dreams….

5. “Is it time for a drink yet?”

E.g. I have been mentally drunk since 9.30am this morning and now I would dearly like fiction and reality to finally come together.

6. “Is it time for bed yet?”

God, is it 7.30pm already?

7. “Why did I come into this room?”

Was I going to ask someone something? Or eat something? Or announce something? Or break something? Why am I here? Where am I? Who am I? What is all this? Is that a stain on the carpet? How did it get there? How long has it been there? How long have I been standing here?

8. “No, I don’t remember saying that.”

I would never say something as stupid as that, nor can I be expected to remember every tiny thing I say, even the stupid stuff and even if I did say that, which, OK, I probably did, it doesn’t count if I don’t remember saying it. Just so we’re all clear.

9. “I’m not angry, I’m just tired.”

I am so f***ing angry, I could break you in half with my bare hands and then crush the remains like a plastic cup, but I’m trying to be the bigger person.

10. “I’m not tired, I’m just… God, I’m tired.”

Don’t speak to me, I’m so tired.

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