all saints, combat trousers, 90s fashion, nostalgic

10 outfits you probably wore in the 90s

  1. Yellow neon tops from Morgan made of viscose with low-slung white boot cut trousers, detailed with a buckle design. Also viscose. What was with all the viscose? Nice sweat patches, by the way.
  2. Slogan T-shirts with any number of trying to be sexy phrases emblazoned across your chest: ‘100% Pure’, ‘Kitten’ ‘I’m no angel’, ‘YES!’ ‘Who? Me?’ ‘QTπ’. And they seemed so ironic and hilarious.
  3. Mini A-line dresses with spaghetti straps and a white T-shirt worn underneath. A strangely unflattering combination – part Japanese school-girl, part ‘I have no idea how to dress’.  You got that right.
  4. A body and a leather mini skirt. Prostitute vibes. Not even an expensive prostitute. Or a tartan mini skirt. Scottish prostitute.
  5. Trainers. Probably Air Macs in the early Nineties with a short dress and a stretchy headband so your feet looked absolutely ENORMOUS in comparison to the rest of your body and your tiny compressed head. Like one of those insects that David Attenborough might turn a leaf over in the jungle to find clinging underneath.
  6. Just huge, black, platformy shoes with everything. Overtones of ‘I need these for medical reasons’.
  7. Combat trousers. They looked sexy on All Saints. They looked like you’d borrowed your brother’s trousers because it was some kind of degrading emergency.
  8. Crop tops. You were young, you had a flat stomach. It was the right idea. It’s just a shame about the really, really big jeans bunched with a really, really big belt (borrowed from your brother again?)
  9. Corsets. Hmm. This was fine if it was a Vivienne Westwood corset and you had the boobs for it. But the one you had was probably from River Island and it either flattened your boobs to nothing or rammed them violently under your chin.
  10. Sheer tops with a wonderbra underneath. Again, we must address boob-gate. They did look great though.
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