1. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Blast that blasted sunshine (stupid stupid sunshine) with this bleak dose of Scandi noir. Make sure it’s the original Swedish version mind. Yes, I know Daniel Craig is in the Hollywood remake, but that’s no excuse.
2. Summer Holiday
Cliff Richard plays a bus mechanic called Don, who takes his chums to Greece on a double decker. Cliff falls in love with a boy – but it’s really a girl! “The song-studded spectacular that’s gloriously gay!” trills the original trailer. Spectacularly wrong at any time of year. And best watched whilst off your face on tequila. Lots of tequila.
Summer Lovin’ it happened so fast, right? Grease actually has a song for every pissed off mood you could be in, from angry whore anthems, to wistful waggling your fingers in a paddling pool filled with John Travolta’s face moments. We’ve all been there.
Just weep it all out. Go on.
5. Ex Machina
Why is it so bloody hot? If you need cooling off from the frigging heat, there’s nothing chillier than a blast of Alicia Vikander. Especially when she’s playing a robot.
6. A Bigger Splash
Why is it so bloody grey and cold? Take a vicarious stylish island mini break full of sexy stylish people (who all get miserable in the end – yay!) with this sizzling arthouser starring Tilda Swinton and her amazing wardrobe (we want all of it, except the big beige pants – ok those too) and Ralph Fiennes’s jaw-dropping cock.
7. The Truman Show
Sunshine? Happiness? It’s all an illusion dreamt up by an evil man in the sky. Are we right, or are we right?
8. The Full Monty
Fact: it is impossible not to feel ‘ultimately uplifted’ by this iconic Brit hit about six physically unattractive, unemployed miners whipping their kit off. To say otherwise might actually jeopardise your British citizenship.
9. Dirty Dancing
Hey Mr Swayze, park ‘Baby’ in a corner and come slither those hips over this-a-way… Officially the no. 1 ‘feel-good’ movie of all time as voted for in some entirely random survey conducted this week. Any excuse for a rewatch.
10. (500) Days of Summer
One of those kooky, ‘off beat’ indie romcoms (warning sign: it stars Zooey Deschanel) about a boy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who falls for a girl called ‘Summer’ (see?!) who doesn’t believe in love. Makes you relieved you are no longer a 20-something. All that listening to The Smiths is exhausting.
By Larushka Ivan-Zadeh, @larushka_iz